Thursday, December 19, 2019

I am a Feminist and I am not ashamed to be one!


In life we come across situations where we just don't know where we could find answers to all our questions. This was one such day where I found answer to a question that has been bothering me for almost a month.

Before we understand the solution it is essential for us to understand the source of the problem. A few months ago while I was hanging out with a few of my best friends I was in a situation where some of my girl friends felt my husband was doing a great job of taking care of our daughter. To which I smiled and my mind voice went like this "Yeah right, Are you seriously saying that????? Where were you guys when I was working, cooking, cleaning, swabbing, decorating and nursing my child. I never heard this appreciation then.I am sure it is a tough thing when your only job once you come back home from office is to take care of a 4 year old potty trained child, while you wife works in the office and come back home and takes care of the cook, the other house hold chores and squeezes some time for her daughter." I said you are entitled to your views and I respect  that. :-). In fact when I discussed on this issue with my husband later, he mentioned that's the irony, I did not even do anything big. I am doing the basics which is expected out of any human being who is a part of the family. Just because I am 'a man' who doing this I am treated as someone special. I believe this is lack of awareness within the society which has prompted such a reaction from them.

PS: There are a lot of other household chores apart from cooking and sweeping and swabbing. Like washing utensils,keeping things in place, folding clothes and keeping them in cupboard,clearing the clutter in the house etc.

The phase 2 of this conversation went like this, where in some of my guy besties accused me of the following:

1. Your daughter falls sick only because of you. You leave her and go shopping and she starts crying, and because she cries she falls ill. To which my response to him was, dear sir/ Madam, with reference to our last conversation you had mentioned that my husband is as quoted in your own words "Is good at taking care of our child". Why isn't he able to manage her?

2. To which he said that is because you give her everything where as your husband is very strict. She knows that and that's why she keeps coming to you. 

This is where I lost my head and I said shut the F*** up, you have no rights to talk about how I do my daughters upbringing, or how I am running a family. I walked out of the conversation and went home. It took a while for us to start talking again but I never got a closure on this conversation. I was reliving the moment every day and wondering why I had reacted with so much of anger. This is not the first time that this friend has passed such a comment on me. He is one of those who keeps commenting on why women do not wear mangalsutra, why don't they wear a toe ring if they are married. Me and a few girl friends of mine have tried to explain a women's perspective to him but he still has a long way to go. He specifically gets irritated with my answers as I give a very tough and befitting reply to him every time and probably he expected the same this time. But I had never been so disturbed about any conversation to this extent as I was with this one.

Now lets focus on the answer to the roller coaster emotional ride above.

I saw the Movie 'Mardani 2'. I am a thorough movie buff and somehow I felt intrigued by the name of the movie and decided to watch the first movie and as I liked the first part I decided to watch the sequel as well. For those of my friends who do not understand Hindi, Mardani means 'Man Like".

The film has enlightened me in many ways and helped me seek a few answers. Some of the answers are as given below:

1. We need to continue to talk on equality in as many forums as possible, to encourage more and more people to adopt the same and practice it in reality rather than merely talking about the same. We have always been taught to be humble, but that does not mean we do not talk about our achievements.
2. Have the courage to say what you feel. I am sure you are scared, but just speak out. It helps you in 3 ways, your views are expressed, the other person understands that you cannot be taken for granted and you live that moment just once. I faced the trauma of this incident for the last 1 month because I did not give a befitting reply justifying my action as I had become emotional
3. It is ok to be vulnerable in front of the others, it is not unprofessional, but it is wrong to not express just because you felt vulnerable
4. Hold your dignity high. Nobody has the right to hurt your dignity. If you do not raise your voice for your self respect, nobody even cares.
5. Find what your values are and stand true to them. You do not have  to change your values just because you are married or just because you have new friends. This is one of the reasons I love my husband. He has been one of those who has accepted me with all my quirks that come along with the values I truly believe in. Rather he feels very proud of them. I never fear/regret calling a spade a spade.

Now I know why I was so vulnerable, it was because these words were spoken by my best friends, who knew me inside out and who stood by me through the thick and the thins. Even today if I face any problem I know I would go to them first, this was the toughest fight I had ever picked up.A sweet friend had asked me once will you never apologize for this episode. I said no, he is my friend and when he does something good I will be the first person to appreciate him. I will not be saying sorry as I care for him and his future generation. He may not have understood what I said today but I am sure the future will enlighten him. Despite all this even today I love this friend with all his quirks and we continue to remain good friends.