You were just not worth it!!!

Recently I got an opportunity to speak to a friend of mine who was freshly out of a break up. I was infact surprised to know that a girl as strong willed as her could be shattered to this extent after a breakup.

During the course of our conversation she started venting out her anger. I have published this with herconsent and I know she will be glad to see our conversation as a post on FB.
“There was a time you longed to speak to me and later you started finding my talks to be boring.There was a time you were awake till late night to speak to me but now you feel sleepy talking to me.You vowed that no matter what our relationship will continue the way it is today, you promised thateverything around will change but the bond between us will only grow stronger. I cried when you cried and laughed when you did. Our little world meant a lot to me. Today I wonder as to why I had given you so much importance. But then thanks for leaving me as today I have understood as to what I am worthy of, today I have understood as to how much the others around me love me and care for me.

You do not have the guts to face me as you are aware of the promises you made. You did not even have the guts to say that this is a break up, like a coward all you said is you need time and never cameback. Will you be able to face yourself in the mirror ever? Ah why am I bothered about that? You have lost your rights to claim that women betray, they just like to play games with the guys emotions. You could just not take care of one woman who cared so much about you who has given you the rights to comment in general about all the women around you?

Anyways all the very best to you. I hope the next girl in your life will appreciate the fine man I have defined of you. ”

After saying all this there was a weird sense of happiness on her face. A happiness I felt was experienced by her after a very long time. She smiled at me to say thank you, I wish I had a camera to capture her smile. It was the most beautiful smile I could have ever seen a girl displaying.

A dear friend of mine rightly says ‘Life does not stop for anybody’ today I realized how correct she was.Talking to this girl gave me a lot of strength as to what our outlook towards life should be.

This article is in dedication to all those girls who have been through similar situation at some time or the other in their life. I am sure the guys who bothered you will read this somewhere. Let them understand that we girls are not as weak as they consider us to be. Pull up your socks girls, stop waiting for such guys; you deserve someone who will respect you for what you are.

Girls remember not all guys are bad!!! Infact it was a guy friend of mine who motivated me to publish this post. I completely respect those guys who are worthy of it.

P. S. This article is not written to give any importance to the guy who dumped her but to just tell him that ‘You were just not worth it!!!!’

Yet another love story....

I was sitting on a bench and gazing at the river flowing by. When all of a sudden I realized someone was sitting besides me. I turned around to find a very smart looking guy smiling at me . I knew him. I had seem him and spoken to him before. Within no time we started speaking on different topics. He had a good sense of humor, a pleasing personality and a very positive aura around him. Together we saw the kids playing, the birds flying back home and the sun drowning in the blazing river. This person sitting besides me had something wrapped in a news paper which he would not reveal. The sun was about to drown completely when I realised this guy was no more sitting besides me on the bench. Baffled I started looking around for him when I saw him kneeling at my feet with a bouquet.

After a deep breath he said ‘Gauri…You are the only one I have ever dreamt of. Since the day you have come into my life, all I could think of is about you. I wish to start my day Kissing your forehead when when you sleepily smile at me and conclude the day seeing you smile in your sleep. We may fight a lot over petty issues but no fight would be big enough to separate us. I promise you that you will be the only one who will gain my undivided attention and will be with you in sickness and health and protect you and pamper you till my last breath."

After this he took a long pause, bowled out a ring and said. Gauri….have you ironed your clothes????” “What???” “Gauri….aren’t you going to the gym???Its already 7.00 Am.” I woke up with a start and realised that all this was just a dream. The first thing I did on getting up was to check if I am engaged. Unfortunately I was not (This is the first time I regretted not getting engaged).

There were no bouquet, no river, no ring and above all who was the guy???? I tried sleeping again just to find out who the guy is. But then I could just not close my eyes. I am still racking my brains to find out who the guy is.

Will I ever see him or will this just be a dream? Only time can answer this question.

Expressions Reinvented….

Expressions!!! That’s what it is. Geometric, my company has not only given wings to my career aspirations, it has also given a boost to my cultural inclination. When I gave my auditions for expressions I had no idea as to what role I would be playing in the drama? Our Auditions were taken by Mr. Sanjeev Kumar Patil, the director for some of the famous plays like GathiBheti, Makdyachya Hathi Shampen and Nat Navacha Natak to name a few. Lucky as I always call myself, I bagged the role of Yam dharma. Oh don’t freak out people I played the role of Yam who transforms himself as Sheila and transcends to earth to take away the life of an IT professional. The drama weaves through a series of funny incidences and gives a message to the audience that life need not be taken so seriously. Difficulties are a part of life just resolve them and move ahead.

I vividly remember the days when we were practicing for Expressions. All the actors came to the office even on Saturdays and Sundays to complete the play. The pizza party we had on Sundays hmmm yummy. During the weekdays we expressionists were eager to finish off with our days work ASAP and rush to the GYM area (That’s our practice hall) and work on it till 8.30 PM and reach back home at 9.30. Sometimes we stayed back in the office till 9.30 in the night. Gentle men from our group used to drop all the girls back home. Yeah which guy would not like to take the privilege of leaving 3 to 4 girls back home late at night? Well let’s not get into the details of that. (To all my expressionist guy friends- no offence meant). Dancing to the tunes played by our music band.

Our Director was the bestest comedian one could think of. He tried his best to bring in as much comedy in the play as possible. I very well recollect a scene where I am flirting with a guy named Nitin err… Neal…err whatever his name is. I still remember the way we were getting conscious at the beginning. Our director was literally tired of telling him “arre mi tula flirt karaychi sandhi detoy tar mag kar na flirt. Kashala Ghabartoy…” That’s it! From that day onwards he started flirting with every girl present in the group. We had to literally ask him to stop flirting.

Since I played the role of Yam I was asked to laugh like Yam and my dialogue goes like this “Hum hai Yam, Yam hai Hum Hehahahahah” and Onkar(The assistant director) spent hours teaching me how to laugh. Every time I tried to laugh the entire team roared with laughter. So you can imagine the kind of laughter I had to put forth. All this was fine but one of the biggest challenges I had was to dance on Sheila Ki Jawani. Trust me I was getting a hell lotta conscious while doing that. I was 100 percent sure that seeing their daughter flirting with guys and dancing to Sheila ki Jawani my parents would certainly have had a cultural shock when they saw the play. Thank fully they seemed to be fine after that .

I even danced on Sachi Sachi…. from Dabangg movie. My dance partner Anil (I used to call him Aniiiiiiiiiillllllll) was another funny person to be with. This was supposed to be a romantic number and everytime we danced Anil used to sing the song. Being a South Indian he had this typical accent which made me laugh everytime he sang the song as we danced. The day we had put this play on the stage I remember the kind of audience support that our company received. We did not win the award but I am sure we have won the audiences heart. I have several beautiful memories to cherish now. Had it not been for this I would have never known that I can act as well. Expression in one of the bestest thing that has happened to me till date.

Its been 3 months since I had been a part of this play but still I am unable to get the expression fever out of my head.

Expressions! has taught me to express myself so beautifully that I am lacking words to express the beauty of Expressions.

-In memory of all the expressionists, cheers to you guys.

Love….a dream or reality??????

Love is always pure. Isn’t it one of the most beautiful times in life when you wake up with a smile and say thank you god for this day full of love? Thanks for giving the special someone in my life. And if you are one of those chosen few who is loved by the special someone in the same way, isn’t it an icing on the cake? Trust me very few of them are lucky enough to get that.

But do we understand the worth of loved one till the time he/ she leaves you? These days’ proposals and commitments are nothing but just a game. Obviously exceptions do exist and all my due respect to those exceptional cases. If a guy proposes somebody and if the girl accepts it the guy is believed to have won the game. After which the girl may get serious about him but for the guy it is just another passing cloud. On the other hand if the girl says no to him the guy would keep chasing her till the time she says yes. The above two situations are certainly not gender specific so guys cheer up!!!

Insecurity today is used as a tool to win over people. Guys and girls make each other feel insecure just to prove how superior they are over the other. A girl feels proud when the guy feels insecure about her and vice versa. Funny isn’t it? A simple question to be answered here is how long you would want to make someone feel insecure about each other. There was a time when relationship meant security. A guy and a girl came together because they felt secure in each other’s company or they completed each other. This sense of security when increases, smoothens the relationship further and makes their bond stronger. In short the relationship blossoms.

I think I have given enough of gyan on certain aspects of relationship. Trust me experience teaches you a lot of things. At times it really makes me wonder why relationship is getting more and more complicated. Why cannot people just be happy with what they have?

A memorable experience indeed….

It is said “God cannot attend to everybody, but he does send an angel to attend to the people who call out to him….”. On reading this quote my thoughts drifted to the first time I had been to Sweekar… Sweekar is an NGO at Kothrud (Please don’t ask me the address!!!! I can take you there but cant write down the entire address). As I had a very pathetic sense of direction (not that I have a good one now) I lost my way and called the NGOs caretaker. She asked me to stand besides Ganesh Kripa hall (err..thats what seems to be the name of the hall) and said she would send someone shortly to receive me. A very skinny lady clad in white saree came to receive me and helped me find my way to the NGO.

When I first saw her I felt she was some lady who works at the NGO, but the moment we entered the NGO all the kids there flocked around her and tried their best to gain her attention by telling her different things that happened during the entire day. Seeing me getting startled she said namaskar mi XYZ. This NGO belongs to me, as I had been out the entire day these kids are excited to share their piece of story with me. I was surprised to know that she is the care taker.

She started her conversation by telling me that all these kids are AIDS affected and have been orphaned once their parents or relatives got to know about their diseased state. Since this is the only family they have all the kids addressed her as Aai (which is the Marathi word used to address Mother). She took me through a brief history as to how the NGO was established and how she manages to run the NGO despite the fact that it is not aided by any government organization. Though I was paying attention to the things mentioned by her, all this while I just kept thinking what a strong willed women she is.

After a while when I realized I have been gazing her for a very long time, I asked her about the funding for the NGO, to which she said that money is very important. We have 18 Kids and all of them are AIDS affected. We need good amount of money to run the NGO. Moreover due to their diseased state their digestion is very quick and they need to be fed at periodic intervals. Besides they even have to be given medicines regularly to reduce the intensity of this disease. She said “I approach several people on a regular basis, and also request anybody who comes here to donate towards the fund for the NGO.” This is not it she also stands at the bus stop and requests people to fund for her NGO. She says with dignity We accept donations starting from 1 Rupee. I asked her as to how she feels when somebody mocks or laughs at her or even ignores her when she askes them for money, to which she says if I ever become egoistic who will take care of my kids. I am their mother they are my responsibility, I cannot see them going around and asking people for help. I want them to study, eat healthy and live happily. Listening to which my eyes welled up with tears.

I had taken some chocolates with me for the little ones there and I could see the excitement on their face seeing the chocolates I had to offer them. Aai introduced me to all the kids there. Some of them excelled in singing, while the others in dancing and there were a few of them who were class toppers for 2 consecutive years.

Till date I never had any problem striking a conversation with anybody irrespective of the age of the person. While I was getting acquainted with the kids one girl amongst them was not ready to open up at all. Aai told me she’s a bit moody, she talks to only if she likes someone. I could sense a kind of question in her eyes which kept asking me, Why are we different??? I played some games with the kids, troubled them a bit and tried my bit to mingle with them. After almost an hour or so she actually smiled at a joke that I happened to share with them and came and took the chocolate from me. Trust me this was the most touching moment for me. When I was just about to leave the NGO and make a move to my place Aai told me….Next time when you come can you please bring eggs or rice for the kids instead of chocolates??? I was just taken aback by the comment. I realized how these kids were not a part of her life but they were her life. If there is anybody who taught me what love is it is her.

When I walked out of the NGO that day I realized,

1. How lucky I am to be blessed with such caring people in the form of my parents, friends and relatives

2. If a person is determined to achieve something, he/she will do anything to make it work

3. Not everybody is blessed with everything, why not give what we can to the others around us

4. Should we always expect something in return from people if we give them something

It is said ‘Life is like a coin. You can spend it any way you wish, but you only spend it once.’ She has found a way to spend it, and has given me a direction as well.